Heck Yeah

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A completely unhelpful guide to RP on Champions Online: Fantasy/SciFi Dating Sim

So you’ve decided you want to be one of those weirdos who roleplay in Champions Online. But what is RP? How does RP work? Why do people RP? Is RP edible? 

Well, I can’t really be assed to type an answer to any of this questions, but I can help you create a complex, interesting, imaginative character. 

 

The first step is to pick your build. Now, to be a good roleplayer, the first thing you need is the best build in the entire game ever. So do some research and find out which is most broken archetype / freeform build available, you’ll need this later on.

Conventionally the second step is to make a costume. However, we’re going to skin this step and move on to step three.

Step three is all about the character herself (There are no male characters in CO, they’re frowned upon.) The character bio must include the following information, or the elite, top tier RPers won’t let you suck their e-peen roleplay with them. Remember, the more hyper-sexualised and more immature you make yourself look, the better quality RPer you are.

Roleplayer type: Here you must state which forms of RP you partake in. Popular choices for RP are ERP (This tells people you have no control over your libido and must fill every waking second of your life with sex related content), Mature RP (ERP but more dignified), Light or Casual RP (Generally, this comes down to being a total retard and not having anything sensible to RP, so you just spam internet memes and stupid stuff that no one would ever say in any situation ever. This goes well with Mature RP) or you can just put Roleplayer (This means you are a roleplayer, not a sex addict or 11 years old.)

Name: Here you must state your characters name, just so people have a frame of reference after they right click on your name and select “info”. This might also be your secret indentity if you’re one of those noobs who plays a super hero or super villain in a super hero / super villain MMO.

Age: Here you state any age over 16. Followed by their real age, which will be roughly 3x the number of years the earth has actually existed. 300000 is a good number.

Race: Here you state what type of demon you are. There’s plenty of really interesting demon races to choose from, demons having such a large role in old stories. But, for the sake of RP, you must choose from the 3 least interesting, and quite frankly, shittiest demon sub-races known to man. Succubus, Incubus or Demi-God Demon.

Gender: Being a meet ‘n’ fuck simulator, it’s granted you can’t take a characters gender based on their physical appearance. That hot momma might also be sporting a juicy meat mallet, and that boyish looking young lady might be a overly effeminate guy who needs to be as skinny as possible. Remember, if it doesn’t have ridiculously large breasts and a vagina, you’re doing it wrong.

Orientation: This is the most important piece of information in your info. If other lesbians don’t know about your love for carpets, then you’re not going to get much RP! For cunt bonus points, you can put lots of effort into adding a rainbow effect to the letters.

Marital Status: This is the second most important piece of information.  

Personality: Because obviously, you info must contain EVERY FUCKING DETAIL about your character, you can list the personality traits of your character, in case you forget. If you don’t know what makes an interesting personality, you can just list the same traits everyone else does: Seductive, Happy, Honest, Friendly, Intelligent (usually spelt wrong. It’s funny that way!) and Loyal to their genitals.

History: you don’t actually need to be creative in CO, which is best part about it! Just state they were born in hell, but wanted  to come to earth to help people get laid and STDs, and that the rest of their history is unknown. Bonus points if your character was raped by men and that’s why she is a lesbian / bi with vagina preference. 

BONUS POINTS: Bonus points for listing favourite music, hobbies, colours (That’s how it’s spelt, America.) genitalia and band.

Powers:Here you list all the powers in the world your powers. It doesn’t have to be fair, or realistic, or even interesting, just as long as your character can fuck the shit out of everyone else in the entire world and you should be considered as a cosmic threat.

Some examples:

  • Telepathy and immunity to telepathic powers
  • Shape shifting (Useful if you want a vagina and a horse cock!)
  • Limitless magic with no real context to your character
  • Immortality
  • God like regeneration
  • God like strength
  • Fat potato forever alone libido

If you don’t at least list all of those, you’re a noob.

Themesong: This doesn’t actually have to hold any relation to your character, just put your current favorite song or some stupid piece of shit anime song. Dubstep is always a good choice. Dubstep goes with everything! Put two, maybe three! It’s completely reasonable to have 101 theme songs!

Battletheme: As stated above.

"Disclaimer" : This is a cliff note where you tell people how much of a dick you are your RP preferences. You want to tell them: You only go by character level (Because grinding through lack-luster content is relevant to your creativity and rational thinking. Also, it makes you unbeatable around lower levels. That way you can ensure your character is always going to win, because that’s really interesting and always consists of good character writing), you will only RP fight through broken PVP which consists of the same 3 over powered builds that never hold any relevance to your character or their IC abilities, that you are walk up friendly (Only if you’re on your own. If someone comes up to your clique, alienate them instead of ICly stating you’d like some space.) and that you’re whisper friendly (But no necessarily responsive to anything anyone says to you).

 The final section of this guide will discuss your costume. My tips would be: 

  • Use a skin tone that can  also be applied to costume pieces. This makes it easier to create naked costumes when your toons are doing the nasty.
  • Have as many horns as you can. If you don’t look like a pitchfork in your demon form atleast, you’re doing it wrong.
  • To show how badass and demony you look, make sure your normal human form has glowy eyes on her hourglass figure.
  • More skin the better. No woman has ever dressed respectably.
  • Use pitch black ontop of deep blues or neon greens, it doesn’t look disgusting or anything.

I hope you find this helpful.

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